1. Roundabouts.
This on
ly is number one because I can see one from my balcony. And I can hear people's brakes screeching as they approach it at least several times a day. I mean I have an excuse to not get roundabouts, but these people grew up with them and they still suck at driving in them. And they are everywhere! They are extra scary when there is a bike lane, because it goes around the outside, so if I want to keep going around and the car on the inside wants to get out, I have to try extra hard to not get hit. As if driving on the left weren't enough...2. Dairy Products
One of the passengers on the boat asked me what I miss the most about the US (aside from friends and family), and I decided that it is normal tasting dairy. He was British and agreed with me that the dairy here is really weird. His theory was that it's too creamy. I can't really put my finger on it, but it's in everything. The cheese is weird. The milk is really weird. It's pretty good in cookies and stuff like that, but it's just kind of ubiquitous, and sort of ruins a lot of things we cook. I really miss drinking milk, too. Oh yeah, and when you go to the grocery store, your cheese options are things like "tasty" and "extra tasty." No idea what that means. I stay away from it.
3. Clothes
I could go on about this one for a while. I really want to find a picture for you guys of the city maintenance guys, because they wear work boots, short shorts, collared shirts and wide brim hats. It's just totally what you would expect Australian workers to wear, but at the time time it's hilariously absurd. Jon pointed out that all the construction workers here wear really short jean shorts. My theory is that they don't want their shorts to get caught in their equipment. He thinks they just like short shorts. But clothes here are just all wrong in so many ways. Most people dress like they could almost be American, but they will have one element wrong. Like a fanny pack. Or a mullet. Also they have weird standards for what is appropriate, like Jon got turned away from happy hour at a really casual bar for wearing flip flops (which are called thongs here, but I figured people might wonder if I said Jon couldn't wear his thongs to Shenannigans.) Anyway, there were people in board shorts, t-shirts and running shoes, but he couldn't get in in a collared shirt, jeans, and flip flops. That, and people go barefoot at the mall. And in the grocery store. I thought that was illegal.
Cairns! We live along the water on the right side of the picture.All in all, it's a fun country though. And it's a totally awesome city. I'm sure I will come up with many more weird things, and I will try to surreptitiously take a picture of one of the city maintenance guys. Oh! And not that it has anything to do with what I've just written, but here's a picture of my bike, as promised. The flash made it look red, but I assure you, it is pink.
Note the basket on the back (with my awesome blue helmet in it) and the purple writing on the side. It is a totally sweet bike. It does get me where I'm going, though, and all in all, it's not a bad bike. I'm taking suggestions for names, post a comment if you've got any.
Note the basket on the back (with my awesome blue helmet in it) and the purple writing on the side. It is a totally sweet bike. It does get me where I'm going, though, and all in all, it's not a bad bike. I'm taking suggestions for names, post a comment if you've got any.
15 comments:
I guess it would be too obvious to name the bike SCORPIO!, but I find that pretty awesome. Also, I think I have the same blue helmet.
Also also, you are very funny. So, I guess, is Australia, but I definitely laughed out loud at "tasty" and "extra tasty." And at all of the clothing bits. Yikes. I have sent your link to Sus (who, by the way, is moving there at the end of next summer/early fall for work), so look, 5 readers!! Nubbin :)
Mimi liked "Pinkie" for your bike; Granddaddy liked "Flying Flamingo". Personally, I vote for Trixie. We all love your updates- you are so cute. I love you. Mom
Hey there,
Are you still living in Australia? I'm actually headed there, to live, pretty soon. Ready for the huge change!
Anything you would recommend for a first-timer?
Hi,
My name is Kate and I live in Atherton (I assume you know where that is).
How can milk be too creamy? The area you are living in is known for its high quality milk (because it is fucking creamy). We don't wear thongs in bars because we don't want to hurt our feet (common sense) you are also not allowed to wear steal cap work boots (so if anyone gets into a fight they can't seriously hurt someone). Workers wear short shorts because if you haven't noticed it is fucking hot in cairns. If you see any people wearing a fanny pack chances are they are a tourist like YOU!!
I will however agree with you that roundabouts are stupid and very dangerous especially in cairns.
Anyway I hate how every American I have ever met has been a stuck up prick who thinks that they are better than us. Because of people like you I NEVER EVER EVER want to go to your shit hole of a country. You all seem to be stuck up (with no justification to think in that way). What makes a person better than someone else is not the fact that they dress well or how they choose to have their hair, it is their character and every American I have ever met has made me want to punch them out. If all americans are like you then we are clearly better people.
This is only directed to the pretencious Anonymous (pretty convienient) user, I am an American and living in N.S.W., if everthing you write is about character thats great, I agree, but if you never left Australia you have no right to say what you say considering that fact and the ridiculous reality televison you recieve here. Considering that if I were an Aussie, I would have your state of mind, you just have to think outside of the box, meaning your fucking continent. Not implying to be the "next American" you talk to and hate but please do not be so biased and inconsiderate, because in actuality it is making you, yourself, Anonymous and all, giving so many Aussie's I know a horrible sterotype, time to grow up.
I am in agreement with the first Anon. I am well traveled and I live in Townsville. If you asses want to have a whinge (which you are bloddy great at) then leave our effin country. We sure as shit are not asking you to stay. You are so up yourself, I am still yet to meet a good one.
why is it thay some people are so fucking nasty about americans? fercrisakes,anon,take a pill.several pills,if neeeded.and yes ,im american,if by amaeircan you mean someone born in the americas.what can yo say about a country that has koalas,an animal thats perpetually stoned on eyculiptus leave,the platypus,a duckbilled,furred,egg laying mammal? and dont forget Dame Edna(who is from oz,isnt s/he?) and i dont want to knoww what most aussies have down under>every nation has its faults and has its good stuff,but venemous words like those are crap
kate,your the one im talking to
good thing most aussies arent like you two twits.i could say something about australia starting out as a prison,but that was 200 yrs ago.god,i hate it when jingoistic bastards say my nations superior.wecan be a bunch of selfsatisfied pricks here in canada,too.so lets all stop being better than anyone else.qand just be what we are,different
nasties! grow up
the milk is TOO thick, it's like drinking cream, so why swear at the guy if he's just giving his opinion?
How about having some manners in Australia? Everyone is so rough edged and no finesse. Lived here for 9 years and it's just weird.
I can't find any clothes here that are stylish or fashionable. They all seem so utilitarian. I'm just not into hiking pants that look like they belong on a man.
I loved reading this blog as an Australian. I am fascinated by how other nationalities perceive us - be that good or bad. Thank you for posting your thoughts while you stay in this country.
Bottom line, in response to all the nasty comments, is that every country has both its good and bad points. There's no need to be needlessly cruel.
I just wanted to say, about the quip about Australia starting as a prison, that this is indeed true but while other countries would see that as a bad thing and something to feel shame about, Australians, as far as I can tell, aren't actually bothered by our heritage and how we came to be. We are proud of the struggle to tame this wild country and the hard work needed - themes which are part of our national identity. Most of the convicts sent to Australia during the initial settlement of this country were convicted for frivolous things, such as stealing a loaf of bread to sustain themselves and their families during harsh economic times in England and crippling poverty.
Anyway, I loved the remark on the cheese. I have never second-guessed our labelling of cheese until you brought it up. I can totally see how it would seem odd to a foreigner. haha We have mature cheese with its bite and then there is run of the mill tasty cheese which is smooth and pleasant and for the kiddies (mostly) we have extra tasty which is extremely pleasant on the palate for those not fond of cheese with bite.
I reckon the strangest thing us Aussies do is using tomato sauce on everything! LOL We almost do it automatically - grab the tomato sauce and splash it on our food. It's a bit odd.
Anyway, keep sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed the read.
it isn't Australia that's weird, its Queensland. Go south. Long way. And you offended qld-ers, stay there please, with yer leathery skin, total lack of drinkable coffee or food worth eating, and your racism and homophobic right wing politic, foul canal estates, fake beaches, jet skis, and ...... And..... Actually I like the glasshouse mtns, your reef (bits that haven't been trashed yet) And mangos..but keep the rest up there
I was called Mittens in a former life. There's a banana that's been sitting on my desk for 3 days and it's not yet congealed into a stereo
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